Living to my Heart's Theme

         For the past month or so, life has chewed me up, swallowed, and then spit me back up again! Wow, that sentence was dramatic. But life has been painfully hard and interestingly enough, other happenings in life have been far worse, yet I coped better.

        A continuous amount of stress, followed by three independent girls, mixed with guilt of knowing I need to do better, created this dilemma. Basically, Ry is gone before I awake and home just as I put the girls to bed. It feels like Houston life, but at least I have the nighttime with him. I have unpacked at least 20 boxes a week and we are still getting settled (How did I accumulate so much junk?!). Rylie just started a great new preschool. We are in the process of making new friends, finding new places, and all of the other fun adventures that come with moving. We have had strep throat twice. My kitchen sink flooded my house. I have two extremely independent two year olds, who won't let me help them with anything. Their pants are on backwards, shoes on the wrong feet, hair  messy, and if you buckle the car seat for them, you will hear a high pitched squeal, sure to make your ears ring for the next half and hour! And finally, I am trying to be the perfect mother.

        The last sentence, I have come to understand, is the real problem. It's great to try for perfection, but not by someone else's standards. I used to laugh when my girls accidentally spilled their milk and then finger painted in it. When did life get so serious? When did it become so important to be on time? To have a clean house? Clean laundry or healthily feed your family?
The answer: All have always been important.

        So, what did I do? I was losing patience, with no close friendships, or husband to help relieve the stresses of temper tantrum's and daily life. I prayed. My prayers basically consisted of me begging the Lord to help me be patient with my children. I had been carrying a lot of Mommy guilt, and please help me to get more done, plan better, and so on.

      These prayers continued, usually out of guilt for being short with my girls or just barely getting them to bed and then sprinting to the other side of the house so I wouldn't say something rude. It was awful. How come I could make it the previous eight months, only seeing Ry twice a week, sell and move out of my house, and not loose patience with my children!?
    Then, I happened upon my friend Michelle's family blog, A Dash of Falk, blog post called, "The Hubs..." She had posted her husbands written thoughts and other quotes to celebrate this thankful time of year.

I have read many inspirational quotes that have lifted me up in my lifetime. But the quote I read, rang true to my soul. I had forgotten my joy in life and my daily perception had changed without me even realizing it. You wouldn't believe the relief my heart felt to read these words.

            "NEVER let a PROBLEM to be solved, become more important than a PERSON to be LOVED." President Thomas S. Monson.

         Simple isn't it? Yet, my inner passion for life is refreshed, the loves of my life are priority, guilt free, walking to beat of my hearts theme--Love First!

       God answers prayers and amazingly, it has been a lot easier to be on time and survive daily life, now that I am reminded that NOTHING is as important as treating my children, self, and hubs with love.

      This may seem silly and obvious to many reader's, but I challenge you the next time you have a problem to take a look at yourself and see if you are treating the problem with more attention and love than those involved, even if the only person involved is yourself.

       "They do not love, that do not show their love." William Shakespeare.